a decade under the influence

Taking Back Sunday – A decade under the influence


So I’m marking my tenth year with The Paper today — true to form, I’m doing so at work. It seems fitting. Can you imagine ten years going by? I have a hard time fully grasping it myself, but here I am. I still remember introducing myself to class as someone who has been with the same company for the past ten years and getting more gasps of disbelief than that time I told them I was in a relationship with a woman for eight. Haha.

our printer did a thing.

A photo posted by kate pedroso (@thegshift) on

Wipe you clean with dirty hands


May has been a good month. I have been sending out Tinyletters instead of blogging, and writing a ridiculous amount of things that never see the legitimate light of day. My sister graduated from med school the other day. I’m all right. Everything’s quite all right ūüôā

#febfeels: economics of love

Calligraphy by Andrea dela Cruz (@aphazia on Instagram)


Inquirer.net has a new column called¬†Love.Life.,¬†described as an online weekly column of contributed personal essays sharing real-life stories about love, relationships, sex‚ÄĒeven, yes, tadhana.¬† A friend asked me a couple of weeks ago if I wanted to write ¬†— like I would say no to such an honor =)

So today, Love. Life. went live, with my essay as its pilot post. I cannot begin to fathom how amazing that is for me.

Also, as expected, I wrote about love & finance. Haha. (Essay under cut)

Continue reading “#febfeels: economics of love”

weekend round-up: black holes, bullies, not giving a fuck and Charlie Hebdo

This weekend round-up will look you in the eye and not back down.

Continue reading “weekend round-up: black holes, bullies, not giving a fuck and Charlie Hebdo”

senti: UPCAT in retrospect

My last UPCAT post is now four years old. Sa lumang blog pa. My goodness. Naghahanap ako ng something UPCAT-related in recent years, kaso the past couple of Augusts have been sort of hell. (Yung title nung isang post, “Note: You did this to yourself.” Tawang-tawa lang ako.)

Anyway, since UPCAT ngayon sa UP — first UPCAT under the new academic calendar, I think — uso na naman magreminisce. Eto ang aking contribution diyan, albeit in a throwback fashion:

The UPCAT was a five-hour exam and by the time I was done (having shotgunned through some items, admittedly) my head felt like liquid. LOL. Added to the fact that the traffic was horrible and the place, oh my God, the place it was so huge and frightening, and surely my parents couldn’t be so heartless to send me to a place this faraway and BIG?

From: Let’s do an UPCAT post, Aug. 7, 2010

LOL HEARTLESS. Looking back, that was probably the only time my parents imposed anything on me, and it was the best decision they’ve ever cornered me into making. Haha. Lesson learned: Trust your parents, kids. They know.

Anyway, fast-forward to fourteen years later: And so we live in hope that every day we continuously live up to this.

Ito ata ang unang litrato ko sa Oblation. Superstitious daw kasi ako lol.


Late to the party, but on Saturday, the UP Maroons won their first game after 27 straight losses. I don’t know about you, but as an alumna of said university and as an avid basketball fan, it was a pretty big deal.

Just how big of a deal was it? There was a bonfire. Parang championship lang.

I heard some people weren’t very happy about the bonfire, that it rewarded mediocrity, etc, so I point you to Francis Ochoa’s piece on that: #UPFought

(Also, what mediocrity? I watched the game from start to finish, and that was one damn fine game. Kenneth Duremdes, coach of Adamson, said so himself: Kahit La Salle mahihirapan. Thanks naman sir.)

So yes. It was a good weekend for the UP folks. It was August too when we last won two years ago.

We end with the most glorious Twitter update I have ever seen:

bad habits

So yes, lately I’ve been having this bad habit of just disappearing. Blame it on the upcoming State of the Nation Address, or school, or the toxic¬†mix of both. This week has been trying and difficult but when I look at how I am surrounded by absolutely hardworking people, I¬†start to count my blessings.

Wednesday afternoon I was sitting on a bench in school waiting for class, and I was thinking about school stuff and work stuff and how, more than halfway into this term, I still feel so out of my depth in this other class (where the teacher goes,¬†You don’t have to know how to do this, you’ll have accountants for this,¬†but then I have to do it anyway in class and 60% of the time I’m just waiting for someone to figure out the seatwork and speak up and if you know me, this is not me.¬†I finish¬†seatwork. On a scale of 1 to Joffrey Baratheon, how hard do I loathe Accounting? Mountain Clegane levels, post-Oberyn Martell, that’s how. tl;dr It sucks.)

So yes, I was sitting there thinking,¬†God this is exhausting.¬†Monday I had to line up for two hours for a mandatory physical exam that’s a new requirement for enrolment, and all the while I was thinking Why am I even doing this?¬†And then, as a sort of cocky retort to the Universe, I was like,¬†Okay then Universe, if this is going as planned, just holler, okay? Because I am feeling a bit lost.

Wednesday night was rainy, and I was worried that the reporter for that night wasn’t going to make it, because I was the next reporter and I was not ready, but then she came in half an hour late, but you know what she still finished well before 8, and our professor was like,¬†Okay, let’s watch The Secret¬†til 8:30 and that’s that.

The Secret. Okay. Better than asking me to report next, right? Right. So I sat there and then Mike Dooley (a.k.a. The Universe) comes on and I was like, Okay, Universe. That was pretty heavy-handed, but I think I hear you loud and clear.

That night the traffic was so heavy, and I was thankful to have been in the company of classmates, who let me join them for dinner and drinks and then saw me home. We talked about how nothing’s a coincidence, about how everything is mapped out, and god, I thought,¬†This is why I went back to school.

Fuck Accounting, right? I went back to school to learn from people, and here I am.


Anyway – my girlfriend is joining the Big Blog Exchange this year. You can check out Andrea’s¬†blog here and vote for her here.



Nothing makes me feel more displaced than the occasional Taft campus errand that takes me to the new registrar’s office.

I had the misfortune of misplacing my ID the other day, so I had to head to Taft to have it replaced, a procedure which took me to the new massive Henry Sy building that’s now standing where the football field used to be. This campus still confuses me, but when I saw the building with escalators, I just knew.¬†That’s it.¬†

Basically, the new registrar’s office is like a bank with a high-tech ¬†automated queueing system and everything. It was actually very efficient and I appreciated that.

Anyway. When people ask how much time I have left (how very Orange is the New Black, I think, parang sentensya lang ang tinatanong), I used to not mind when I say I still have a long way to go, but then when I realize I’ve been on this program for two years already (technically a junior now, if we’re going to be strict about it), I get anxious. Don’t people finish these things in two years? What’s taking me so long? Etc. (Then I remember how I was late for my last Taft class because¬†meetings on my off day¬†and my question transforms to,¬†Why am I doing this to myself?¬†Etc.)

When I looked at the kids hanging out in circles at the ground floor of the Henry Sy bldg (–so imagine a football field, yes? Imagine that it’s tiled. Yes, it’s that huge and spacious and I was too shy to take a photo for illustrative purposes) I found myself just¬†yearning. For a time when all that mattered was getting from one subject to another. From one semester to the next, and just. Wow. The uncomplicated-ness of the whole thing. And then there was¬†a handful of too-cute-probably-queer girls who hung out at a bench nearby and I’m all like,¬†Jesus.¬†To be gay in this day and age, lol. Then I realize, fuck. These kids are all probably ten years younger. Or more. Where does time go when it does, you know?

So yeah. Here have an old favorite, because these feelings have soundtracks.

Azure Ray – Displaced
Am I making something worthwhile out of this chase
I am displaced (x)


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