today is my father’s birthday



The other day, I was thrust into a meeting where I found myself almost losing my temper; of course, I knew very well where I stood in the order of the Universe — let’s just say it’s this space where I cannot afford to be angry with anyone. So in the middle of trying not to poke people’s eyes out with my pen, I turned to my number one calming solution: I listened to the voice of my father in my head.

I’ve written before that I got the better side of my temper from my father —  and on Tuesday, I thought about what my father liked telling me: First, you have to be kind. So yeah. I had to be kind; I mustn’t stab people with my pen. Okay dad, I get it.

Kidding aside — it’s very timely that this lesson resurfaced this week, because it’s my father’s birthday week. My father, my True North, my moral compass — I love him very much. =)

Happy birthday, Dad =)

letters to cali, day 5

dear love,

if you log onto facebook, you’d see everybody’s facebook lookback vids — they’re automated Facebook-generated compilations of photos you’ve uploaded to facebook since signing up, and mine turned out pretty great. apparently, if people were to summarize my life as told on facebook, they’d say i’m on the beach a lot taking lots of really embarrassing beach photos and hanging out with you. it’s actually nice. if you’d come around to making yours, tag me okay. ps auntie’s lookback vid is adorbs; it features a post where she greets me happy birthday and addresses me by my full name.

today has been busy; personal errand day, bank day. i talked to dad on the phone, and well. adult problems, etc. i’m going to spend the rest of this year so broke, i can feel it.

but for now: i talked to your plants this morning, i think they’re getting used to me. after all it’s been a handful of days of econ lectures. the moist one likes me more, i think. maybe tomorrow i’d try to read to them out loud, something off winterson or ali smith.

on the other hand, i haven’t seen our cats in a while. i think they’re onto something.

this afternoon’s sunset was pretty fierce, wasn’t it? sure, i know it’s pink because of pollution, but my god. how beautiful.

i’m all right. it’s going to be a busy few days ahead.




hello, 2014!

Sent off 2013 and welcomed 2014 at my sister’s Quezon City flat with auntie and wy — a huge departure from the traditional stand-on-the-roof-and-look-up New Year’s Eves that I’ve been having for as far as I remember. Dad was in Iloilo to tend to our sick grandmother, and for a change, we looked out a fifth-floor window and watched as neighboring establishments set off their fireworks — possibly the same ones I stared at from afar right on the roof of our Cavite house for years.

Last night, the Cavite house was empty — the thought still leaves  a slight twinge in my heart, but you know what they say about home being where your family is, and last night Quezon City was home.

Continue reading “hello, 2014!”

yearender: 2013 in moments

Today is technically my last day as a 28-year-old person. I started it by falling in line at the LTO’s Driver’s License Renewal Center at the Ayala MRT station (done in 2 hours — not bad, no drug test), then I spent a quiet couple of hours eating brunch then walking around trying not to sashay to “Let it Go,” which has been playing in my head for a couple of days now, hehe. This morning as I was walking to Ayala I felt the familiar December chill, and thought, Finally. While Poland’s temperature may have scarred me substantially (LOL), I still love our December chill (which is probably only 24-25 C, but who cares haha.)

Anyway. I was supposed to write a yearender installment summarizing this year’s notable moments as seen on this blog (and I have to make this distinction because many moments that have made 2013 twenty-thirteen are not on this blog), and I think that it is apt that I am coming out with this particular installment on the eve of my 29th birthday.

Let’s go.

Continue reading “yearender: 2013 in moments”

[wrap] november so far

1. I should say something about Yolanda.

I figured I should postpone any comment about Yolanda (international name: Haiyan) until I’ve heard from our Tacloban-based relatives. My mother’s side of the family hails from Leyte, and several of my childhood summers and Decembers are made up of memories of my aunts’ houses in Tacloban and my grandparents’ house in Jaro. Just this morning, Auntie told me that our relatives from Tacloban are coming to Manila this weekend and staying with us for the meantime. This fills me with inexplicable joy.

Speaking of inexplicable joy: My friends Edz and Nika stared Yolanda in the eye and made it out of there alive. While I’ve always known Edz to be a survivor (We lived in the same compound for a few years toward the end of college, and trust me when I say this girl’s a survivor) — I am so glad she made it out of Tacloban alive. Here’s her first-person account of surviving Yolanda: Our fight to survive. (Naiyak na naman ako sa re-read.)

That said, the NDRRMC says the death toll is now at 3,621 — well above President Aquino’s initial estimate of 2,000-2,500.

Here’s NYT’s Haiyan round-up.

Here’s BBC’s Typhoon Haiyan: Before and After the Storm.

Andrea rounded up links on ways to help survivors of Yolanda here. She’s also selling artwork to donate to Yolanda survivors at her Instagram @aphazia Continue reading “[wrap] november so far”

the long goodbye

I am sitting on the edge of November and thinking, Novembers are for mothers. Or at least, it is for mine. Novembers are for remembering the dead, and my mother has been dead for more than a decade and a half – sixteen years by next Tuesday. I’m usually busy during Novembers – around this time, we have the Big Event for the Read-Along, and I always treat it like My Baby for the year, and I just – I don’t have time to slow down. Fortunately I was able to swing by our mother’s grave on Thursday night — a brief get-together with my siblings and cousins and dad and two aunts. It was a good time.  Continue reading “the long goodbye”


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